FIRE ART HOWE ALREADY!

"It's not constructive or helpful to have negative-type thoughts," Leiter said, of being pulled by Mets manager Art Howe after throwing only 79 pitches, "because it will only permeate the room and make things worse."

Howe apparently was "too scared" of the Mets being no-hit, so he lifted Leiter for pinch-hitter Danny Garcia after only 79 pitches, in the 5th inning. Way to go, winnah!

Confucious Say...

"You can't make mistakes in a low-scoring game," Mets manager Art Howe said after the Mets lost to the Cubs last night.

Oh Shit! And here all along, I thought it was ONLY low-scoring games you could make mistakes in!

Wow, look out for the Mets now! Now that they've straightened that bit of confusion out, there'll be no stopping them!

Stay off the Wrong Way Momentum Train!

More philosophy from the managing intellectual giant after their predictable loss:

"That was the momentum," Art Howe said, "and the momentum went the wrong way."

Woa....All aboard for the wrong way momentum train!

Don't Worry Be Happy Is Contagious

The Laid Back Artie Howe is spreading like a disease through the Mets coaching staff. And why not? With the Mets having scored eight runs in five games heading into Thursday with four of those runs coming in one game, you might have thought this had something to do with the batting coach, Denny Walling, whom we all know, with his whopping .271 lifetime batting average, is the guy you'd turn to when the team bats like they're supposed to be playing bocci ball. I mean this guy was practically Myril Hoag out there at the plate. Nothing to sneeze at. Just something to cough in unison to.

"Everyone knows when they take the job that eventually it's going to happen," Walling said of being blamed for being a crap batting coach instead of pointing the finger at the batters who are being poorly coached. "But I have strong faith, we have a good rapport here and I know we have a good plan.

Yeah. A good plan. Faith. Let's just bloody PRAY that the Mets learn how to hit despite Walling.

"At this time we're just a little out of sync.

We're just a little out of sync?

How about I've confused them so much, they don't know if they're swinging or standing still any more?

Uncle Artie Calls For Meeting of the Minds

"I've been in this game a long time and I know that you hit streaks like this throughout the season," Howe said. "It's part of a long season. You've got to keep the high points a lot longer than the low points."

Thanks for clearing that up, oh honourable one. I was beginning to think it had something to do with The Mets being outmanaged every night!

Later on, he attempted to blame his players for the Mets shameful record in close games: "They're in such close games and everybody is trying to hit it out of the ballpark, to either get us back in it when we're one down or trying to break it open,". Howe said. "We're going to take what they're going to give us."

Oh, thanks for clearing that up, Uncle Artie. I thought maybe they were losing those close games because Art Howe is a crap manager!

Guess not. Sign him up to an extension, Governor Wilpon!

Notes Following the Pitiable 20th of April loss to the Expos

Wednesday's 2-1 loss to the Expos in front of an announced crowd of 23,565 was seemingly yet another example. It was their sixth one-run game this season and their fourth in the last six games. Only one of those games figured in the Mets favor. That's SIX one-run games, FOUR losses for those of you keeping score at home. Outmanaged in one-run games is Artie Howe's nickname, isn't it?


Said manager Art Howe: "You've got to make them throw them out." regarding Karim Garcia perfecting the getting-thrown-out-at-home plate theorum.

Artie the Orthopaedic Surgeon

"He did a heck of a job, but when your starter says his shoulder is stiffening up, he can't go back out there... Howe on why he pulled Glavine after 78 pitches in a game against Pittsburgh that went from a 2-0 lead before Glavine was pulled to a 7-6 loss (ahem, to the Pirates no less) --

He's Phillips' Phavourite Manager

Jason Phillips, benched for the third time in four games, fumed on Tuesday, the 20th of April, after a 2-1 loss to the Expos, and suggested he had forfeited his first-base job to Todd Zeile. "It took 11 games for me to lose the job," said Phillips, whose average dropped to .171 after a pinch-hit ground out in the seventh.

The reaction might have been a bit of an exaggeration, with Art Howe maintaining that he simply went with the same lineup that won Monday's series opener. But Phillips perceived himself as being the manager's scapegoat and clearly was upset.

"It was a pitchers' duel and we came up on the short end of it," Mets manager Art Howe said after the Mets second straight loss to the Pirates.

Art Howe and Mike Piazza denied there was a problem after the manager forgot to tell Piazza he was starting at first base - before he told the media.

Hula Howe is too stupid to learn from his mistakes: This was not the first time Piazza got one of Howe's messages through the media. Last year, Howe leaked the Mets' plans to move him to first base before mentioning it to Piazza, upsetting the superstar. Howe told someone if this was any other city but New York the original story would have deserved a headline the size of an inch-worm.

"You adjust," Howe said upon injuries and lineup changes prior to yesterday's home opener. "That's what you have to do."

Yes, adjust. That's it. That's what you have to do, Art.

It was quite a turnaround from the Shea opener a year ago, when the Mets and Tom Glavine were crushed, 15-2, by the Cubs. Asked about that, Howe snapped, "I don't want to talk about last year."

HOWETZERS

"When you know your starting pitcher is done for the night before he even gets to the mound, it's tough," manager Art Howe said 9 april after hearing Scott Erickson wasn't going to make his scheduled start.

"Injuries are part of the game," Howe said after hearing Floyd went down with an injury on April 11th. Manager Art Howe said Floyd will be out of the lineup indefinitely. "It doesn't look like he's going to be able to play in a while," he said.

"Injuries, I'm tired of saying it, are part of the game," Art Howe said after the game.

Manager Art Howe said the new turf at Hiram Bithorn Stadium in San Juan, Puerto Rico, is the slowest artificial turf he has seen. "It feels like sand," he said. "It's very soft on the feet, too.

"It's a terrible schedule," manager Art Howe said. "You should get a day off after being in Puerto Rico. That's a long haul for us, considering we started the season on the road. But you have to play it the way it's handed down."

No kidding, Art? Can you play it a different way than how it's handed down perhaps? Can you stop accepting your miserable fate with such unemotional indifference please? Make us perhaps capable of imagining a limit to your apathy and Charlie Brown philosophy?

Summing up a recent 1-0 loss, "They got the big hit when they had to," Art Howe said after the Mets' 1-0 loss, "and we didn't."

"I see the Mets as a tremendous opportunity," Howe said after signing to manage the Mets


The Manager: The Art Howe Song
"Piano Man" Based on the performance by Billy Joel
"The Manager (The Art Howe Song)" Parody by Craig Scott


"It's 7 o clock on a gamenight
The meager crowd shuffles in
There's 15 rookies sitting next to me
And i want some tonic and gin

I say "man can anyone here play this game?"
I think every player here blows
I should have stayed with the A's
They made simple plays
Now I'm stuck in these f'n Mets clothes

Da, da-de-da, la-da, la-de-da, da-dum.

Win us some games your the manager
Win us a game tonight
Well we're all the mood for a victory
But the mets are playing like shyte

Now cliff out in left was a star at one point
Has a 6 million dollar fee
And his achillies is aching, or mabye hes faking
Cause there's some place that he'd rather be

He says "Art i believe this is killing me"
As a smile ran away from his face
Well I'm sure i could be a superstar
If I could get out of this place

Da, da-de-da, la-da, la-de-da, da-dum.

Now Raul is a triple A veteran
Who would have been down there for life
And he's talkin to Roger, who should still be a dodger
Does anyone have a gun or sharp knife?

And the staff ace is practicing mechanics
As Leiter also gets rocked
Yes they're starting to think, they should call it quits
Cause' its better than both being mocked

Win us some games your the manager
Win us a game tonight
Well we're all the mood for a victory
But the mets are playing like shyte

It's a pretty good crowd for shea stadium
And Wilpon gives me a smile
Cause' we know that its reyes, the reason fans pay us
To forget about the standings for a while

And the organ it sounds like a funeral
Because there's no future here
And they call up the fan
To put blame on one man
And say "man, there's nothing to cheer"

Win us some games your the manager
Win us a game tonight
Well we're all the mood for a victory
But the mets are playing like shyte"

"As a manager, a player or a coach, you have certain expectations," Howe said, "and when you don't live up to them, it hurts." Ouch. Howe must be hurting by now!

"I know some media people criticize him for not being in somebody's face, but that's not his style," Betty Howe said. "But he will take care of it behind closed doors. I think you get a lot more out of people that way. If he's really angry, what he usually does is wait until the next day to talk to that guy. He'll sleep on it so that he won't say something that he'd be sorry for. Usually, he starts the conversation by asking, 'Why did you do what you did?' He wants to know what they were thinking. Then he'll say, 'Do you think it might've been better to go about it this way instead?' Even if he were really upset, I'd be shocked if he ever got in a player's face."

"He's laying in bed playing things over and over and thinking, 'How could we have done this, that or the other thing?' " said Betty Howe, who has known her husband since they were 16-year-old high school sweethearts. "He'll take walks after the game. That's when he does a lot of thinking. But from the middle to the end of the season . . . he had a lot of sleepless nights."

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