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Quotes from the second-most fireable manager in MLB today (slightly behind Larry Bowa) and updates on his status as our favourite Met scapegoat.
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Our Favourite Song Is Getting Old
"We only had three hits going into the ninth inning," Art Howe said following another loss in a long season of losses. "That's the same old song. I guess you guys should be tired...
Oh we are, Uncle Artie. We truly are.
If I Say It, It Must Not Be True
After more injuries and more losses, ""Every time we've said it couldn't get any worse, it just does," Howe said. Either God is not on his side, or it's the media's fault.
Oh yes, it must be the media's fault.
Manager Art Howe said the idea the trade of Kazmir has backfired was nothing more than a media concoction and the eight trillion losses he's overseen as a Met manager are a media concoction and the fact that he SUCKS as a manager is a media concoction.
Sing Us A Song Mr Manager Man
"It’s the same old song, the same old story," Mets manager Art Howe said following another loss. "We had three hits until the ninth. We never led..."
Well, you get the picture.
Too Many Nevins Gonna Spoil The Stew
After yet ANOTHER loss, this time to the Padres, Art Howe began to wax philosophic:
"Too many walks and too much Nevin," Art Howe said about the nine walks his pitchers issued and the five RBIs Nevin produced. Wonder how that RESUME is coming along Uncle Artie?
Long Nights At The Howe House
"We're getting only one or two chances a game," Art Howe said after another predictable and demoralising loss. "When we don't take advantage of that, it becomes a long night." Yeah, that and the ticking of the clock.
Stop, Please! We're Not At Full Strength!
"We're not at full strength and they got us at a good time," manager Art Howe said after yet another loss last week, as though the Mets are the only team this season to suffer a few injuries. "They took advantage of it." Clever buggers, weren't they?
Is That My Brain Or Did Someone Take A Dump In My Skull?
After two baseball games and no Barry Bonds home runs in sunny San Francisco, Art Howe rapped his knuckles on the desk of the visiting manager's office two Sunday mornings ago as he said, "At least we kept him in the park."
Right, we lost both games but at least we kept Barry Bonds in the park.
Well, not quite.
The streak lasted all of one inning into the third and final game of the Mets' series against the Giants. Bonds' two-run homer off Matt Ginter proved the difference in the Giants' 3-1 victory that Sunday afternoon.
D'oh! Artie!
Oh Howe We Hate Howe!
More evidence from the front were John Heyman's exasperated remarks about Howe's Losership in his Newsday column the other day:
"It's hard to make a compelling case for Howe, particularly if they follow one tank job (2003) with another. Howe consistently says the wrong thing, such as opining that fans disliked the Scott Kazmir trade "because you guys write it up that way," then complaining he has to sing "the same old song" when the media visits him after a loss. Following losses with cliches - that's his thing, not ours.
Ouch. Uncle Artie can feel that one up in the nose-bleeds.
The Secret To Winning Is Getting Out of the Chute
In a seemingly incomprehensible act of God, the Mets opened with a six-run first inning against the Dodgers the other night. As always, Art Howe was right on with his analysis:
"It was nice, especially right out of the chute," Howe elaborated. "First inning, putting up a six spot, especially when you have your ace going."
Of course, later on, Howe was willing to take all of the credit:
"I talked to them in general," Howe explained wisely and in general, "I just felt it was time to sit down and talk a little"
Hmmm. Maybe if you'd talked a little less general and a little LONGER, they might have not lost their next four games following that weird twist of fate that was a rare victory.
Let's Call the Whole Thing Off
Following the stereotypical, humiliating loss, this time at the hands of the Padres, this gem of wisdom was passed along:
"If we pack it in we're going to have major problems," manager Art Howe said. IF?. Wake up and smell the coffee Uncle Artie. Your boys packed it in about two months ago.
At Least He Knows He Made A Mistake. That Makes Up For BLOWING THE GAME
This time, it was Mike Cameron's turn. In a humiliating 10-2 loss to the Dodgers, Cameron dropped a routine fly ball in the 4th. This isn't necessarily Art Howe's fault perse, but at least he was there to clear up any ambiguity:
"Cliff knows he made a mistake," Art Howe said.
A Big Threat When His Little BooBoos Don't Hurt
A few days ago, after Mike Piazza hinted that his delicate little body and in particular, his left knee, is free of pain, Mets manager Art Howe concluded that "Hopefully he can give us a little spark," (At this point in the season Artie, you don't need a little spark you need a fucking forest fire) "When he's in there he's a definite threat." Ohhh, that'll scare everyone Artie. When he's in there (like, one game out of five, maximum and he isn't already busy screwing up defensively and costing the Mets a game or hurting himself, that is)
Milquetoast Howe and A Side of Snooze
(A yes, one of my favourites is from a fellow-Howe-hater, Scott Lauber of the Binghamton Press and Sun Bulletin (Howe bad must you be to be mocked by a sportswriter who covers your AA team??!!) Anyway, here it is:
"Milquetoast manager Art Howe dismissed the criticism of the trade as a product of negative media coverage and said he had better things to do with his idle time than watch Kazmir's second start Sunday against the Oakland Athletics in which he was chased in the fourth inning after giving up six runs."
Holy Howe, That Kid Has Special, Magical Powers!
"To show that kind of power to that part of the ballpark, that's special power," Art Howe said. "This kid has a lot of upside yet. He's still kind of feeling his way right now, I think. Sorta like Art, mediocrity won't just come to him all on it's own, he's gotta feel his way around for it, call it like a little kitty.
Whole-Hearted Howe
Mets manager Art Howe, not wanting to give his opinion publicly, listened to Duquette and said: "I agree wholeheartedly.". Brilliant.
Hmmmm, Maybe By The Time He Retires, We'll Have Figured Out Where To Play Piazza So He'll Do The Least Amount of Damage To Himself And The Team
"General manager Jim Duquette and manager Art Howe got together just prior to New York's 6-4 loss and discussed the situation with Piazza, who said afterward that they were all "on the same page." Piazza will play first for the remainder of this season with a day here and there behind the plate as well as the occasional day off."
The missing piece to the puzzle is finding what AL team wouldn't mind spending $20 million on a DH or figuring out how they can employ the DH in the NL next season so Piazza has a position to "play". Of course, Art Howe COULD have sorted this out in Spring Training about SEVEN months ago back when it might have made a difference, but instead, here we are over a year later still scratching our genius heads about what to do about Piazza...hmmmm.
Wait Til Next Year, I've Already Cocked Up THIS Season For You
"A lot of what we're doing now is geared toward next year," manager Art Howe said. "It's out of necessity because of the injuries. ... Ahh yes, the INJURIES. Art Howe, in case you hadn't noticed the injustice, is the ONLY manager in baseball who has had to deal with injuries...oh the horror!
My Arm's Tired, Can I Go Home Please?
"He feels like it's a tired arm and if it is, then we'd like to keep it at that and not turn it into a sore shoulder," manager Art Howe said of the genius acquisition of former Pittsburgh Pirate loser Kris Benson.
Fire Away, It's Art Howe Disease!
In the middle of last night's game, an ESPN.com article was posted that suggested Mets manager Art Howe had "lost touch with his players" and could be on the verge of getting fired if his team continues to spiral. In a seemingly unrelated event, Center fielder Mike Cameron was still unavailable Monday night, continuing to suffer from what Howe called "something viral." -- COULD IT BE??? ART HOWE DISEASE??
"We only had three hits going into the ninth inning," Art Howe said following another loss in a long season of losses. "That's the same old song. I guess you guys should be tired...
Oh we are, Uncle Artie. We truly are.
If I Say It, It Must Not Be True
After more injuries and more losses, ""Every time we've said it couldn't get any worse, it just does," Howe said. Either God is not on his side, or it's the media's fault.
Oh yes, it must be the media's fault.
Manager Art Howe said the idea the trade of Kazmir has backfired was nothing more than a media concoction and the eight trillion losses he's overseen as a Met manager are a media concoction and the fact that he SUCKS as a manager is a media concoction.
Sing Us A Song Mr Manager Man
"It’s the same old song, the same old story," Mets manager Art Howe said following another loss. "We had three hits until the ninth. We never led..."
Well, you get the picture.
Too Many Nevins Gonna Spoil The Stew
After yet ANOTHER loss, this time to the Padres, Art Howe began to wax philosophic:
"Too many walks and too much Nevin," Art Howe said about the nine walks his pitchers issued and the five RBIs Nevin produced. Wonder how that RESUME is coming along Uncle Artie?
Long Nights At The Howe House
"We're getting only one or two chances a game," Art Howe said after another predictable and demoralising loss. "When we don't take advantage of that, it becomes a long night." Yeah, that and the ticking of the clock.
Stop, Please! We're Not At Full Strength!
"We're not at full strength and they got us at a good time," manager Art Howe said after yet another loss last week, as though the Mets are the only team this season to suffer a few injuries. "They took advantage of it." Clever buggers, weren't they?
Is That My Brain Or Did Someone Take A Dump In My Skull?
After two baseball games and no Barry Bonds home runs in sunny San Francisco, Art Howe rapped his knuckles on the desk of the visiting manager's office two Sunday mornings ago as he said, "At least we kept him in the park."
Right, we lost both games but at least we kept Barry Bonds in the park.
Well, not quite.
The streak lasted all of one inning into the third and final game of the Mets' series against the Giants. Bonds' two-run homer off Matt Ginter proved the difference in the Giants' 3-1 victory that Sunday afternoon.
D'oh! Artie!
Oh Howe We Hate Howe!
More evidence from the front were John Heyman's exasperated remarks about Howe's Losership in his Newsday column the other day:
"It's hard to make a compelling case for Howe, particularly if they follow one tank job (2003) with another. Howe consistently says the wrong thing, such as opining that fans disliked the Scott Kazmir trade "because you guys write it up that way," then complaining he has to sing "the same old song" when the media visits him after a loss. Following losses with cliches - that's his thing, not ours.
Ouch. Uncle Artie can feel that one up in the nose-bleeds.
The Secret To Winning Is Getting Out of the Chute
In a seemingly incomprehensible act of God, the Mets opened with a six-run first inning against the Dodgers the other night. As always, Art Howe was right on with his analysis:
"It was nice, especially right out of the chute," Howe elaborated. "First inning, putting up a six spot, especially when you have your ace going."
Of course, later on, Howe was willing to take all of the credit:
"I talked to them in general," Howe explained wisely and in general, "I just felt it was time to sit down and talk a little"
Hmmm. Maybe if you'd talked a little less general and a little LONGER, they might have not lost their next four games following that weird twist of fate that was a rare victory.
Let's Call the Whole Thing Off
Following the stereotypical, humiliating loss, this time at the hands of the Padres, this gem of wisdom was passed along:
"If we pack it in we're going to have major problems," manager Art Howe said. IF?. Wake up and smell the coffee Uncle Artie. Your boys packed it in about two months ago.
At Least He Knows He Made A Mistake. That Makes Up For BLOWING THE GAME
This time, it was Mike Cameron's turn. In a humiliating 10-2 loss to the Dodgers, Cameron dropped a routine fly ball in the 4th. This isn't necessarily Art Howe's fault perse, but at least he was there to clear up any ambiguity:
"Cliff knows he made a mistake," Art Howe said.
A Big Threat When His Little BooBoos Don't Hurt
A few days ago, after Mike Piazza hinted that his delicate little body and in particular, his left knee, is free of pain, Mets manager Art Howe concluded that "Hopefully he can give us a little spark," (At this point in the season Artie, you don't need a little spark you need a fucking forest fire) "When he's in there he's a definite threat." Ohhh, that'll scare everyone Artie. When he's in there (like, one game out of five, maximum and he isn't already busy screwing up defensively and costing the Mets a game or hurting himself, that is)
Milquetoast Howe and A Side of Snooze
(A yes, one of my favourites is from a fellow-Howe-hater, Scott Lauber of the Binghamton Press and Sun Bulletin (Howe bad must you be to be mocked by a sportswriter who covers your AA team??!!) Anyway, here it is:
"Milquetoast manager Art Howe dismissed the criticism of the trade as a product of negative media coverage and said he had better things to do with his idle time than watch Kazmir's second start Sunday against the Oakland Athletics in which he was chased in the fourth inning after giving up six runs."
Holy Howe, That Kid Has Special, Magical Powers!
"To show that kind of power to that part of the ballpark, that's special power," Art Howe said. "This kid has a lot of upside yet. He's still kind of feeling his way right now, I think. Sorta like Art, mediocrity won't just come to him all on it's own, he's gotta feel his way around for it, call it like a little kitty.
Whole-Hearted Howe
Mets manager Art Howe, not wanting to give his opinion publicly, listened to Duquette and said: "I agree wholeheartedly.". Brilliant.
Hmmmm, Maybe By The Time He Retires, We'll Have Figured Out Where To Play Piazza So He'll Do The Least Amount of Damage To Himself And The Team
"General manager Jim Duquette and manager Art Howe got together just prior to New York's 6-4 loss and discussed the situation with Piazza, who said afterward that they were all "on the same page." Piazza will play first for the remainder of this season with a day here and there behind the plate as well as the occasional day off."
The missing piece to the puzzle is finding what AL team wouldn't mind spending $20 million on a DH or figuring out how they can employ the DH in the NL next season so Piazza has a position to "play". Of course, Art Howe COULD have sorted this out in Spring Training about SEVEN months ago back when it might have made a difference, but instead, here we are over a year later still scratching our genius heads about what to do about Piazza...hmmmm.
Wait Til Next Year, I've Already Cocked Up THIS Season For You
"A lot of what we're doing now is geared toward next year," manager Art Howe said. "It's out of necessity because of the injuries. ... Ahh yes, the INJURIES. Art Howe, in case you hadn't noticed the injustice, is the ONLY manager in baseball who has had to deal with injuries...oh the horror!
My Arm's Tired, Can I Go Home Please?
"He feels like it's a tired arm and if it is, then we'd like to keep it at that and not turn it into a sore shoulder," manager Art Howe said of the genius acquisition of former Pittsburgh Pirate loser Kris Benson.
Fire Away, It's Art Howe Disease!
In the middle of last night's game, an ESPN.com article was posted that suggested Mets manager Art Howe had "lost touch with his players" and could be on the verge of getting fired if his team continues to spiral. In a seemingly unrelated event, Center fielder Mike Cameron was still unavailable Monday night, continuing to suffer from what Howe called "something viral." -- COULD IT BE??? ART HOWE DISEASE??
